44 posts tagged “things on tuesday”

...because I haven't thinged in a while.

Suckfests
- I'm really frustrated with the job search thing. It's kind of getting me down. Not getting the responses I want makes me feel even more trapped in a job that is driving me crazy. It's weird. When I wasn't really searching, I held on to this hope that if I put my mind to it I could escape and find a job that didn't fill my life with stress and anxiety. But now that I AM searching and not getting anywhere, I start feeling claustrophobic at work. Like "Oh, shit, this is it. I am going to be stuck here, overworked and overstressed and miserable, forever. Either that or I'd better find a good cardboard box to live in when I truly can't take it anymore." I know this is over-reacting and something will happen eventually, but that is very hard to tell yourself when no matter how happy you've been all weekend you get incredibly sad on Sunday nights and on Monday morning all your muscles start clenching up and aching and your stomach feels like it is going to lose that second cup of coffee just because you're walking into the office.

-Obviously, I'm still really frustrated with the job too. There's just too much work for one person, plain and simple. And I don't get any satisfaction out of it anymore at all. Because there is too much work, no matter how much I accomplish there is always someone bitching about what I haven't accomplished. Eventually, because I'm kind of like a sponge that way, this makes me lose the ability to appreciate my accomplishments and I just start feeling like crap about not getting to whatever is being bitched about. So then I work even more hours and then get bitter about not having a life. It is a vicious cycle.

- Lee dropped a weight on his foot yesterday. He's OK, but it REALLY hurt.

- Pucker is going through his Hellion-Kitty phase. You know, that 6-week-or-so period where they are boundless energy on a mission to destroy? He's impossible to keep up with, although Sylvester really tries!

Sunshine
- Our garden is doing amazingly well. We already have so many tomatoes that we gave a batch to the neighbor last night, and they just keep coming! The hot peppers are abundant too, and the other peppers are coming in. The squash are starting to show up too, the later arrivals to the party. I love going out there after work and seeing what has changed during the day while I've been gone. It is such a magical work in progress.

- Our new gym. Well, it is the same club we were going too, just one at a different location. And no, I didn't switch because of the Crazy Talking Naked Locker Room Lady. It was the crowds that drove us to a new gym. That's what makes the new gym Sunshine instead of Suck. It is rarely crowded at all. I actually get the mental as well as physical benefits of working out there, because I'm de-stressing as I exercise. That's hard to do when you feel like you can't move without someone up your butt!

- I just finished reading "Where the Heart Is" by Billie Letts. It is an older book, but one I hadn't gotten around to. It has such amazingly quirky and wonderful characters. It was one of those books that even without a "page turner" kind of plot going on, I couldn't put down.

- Facebook Farmtown. I love that game! I need a new addiction like I need more work, but anyway ...

- I've given myself a break this week from the freelancing and the job searching. I'm just too tired.  It feels good to step back and breathe a bit. I'll jump back in the game, I just need to sort of sit back and lick my wounds a bit, I guess. Ideally I would have taken a vacay from the job instead, since it is what drags me through the mud, but that wasn't happening. I am learning not to rush myself or get frantic and just to stay calm and breathe, I guess.

- The people in my life. My Lee, my family, my friends, my neighbors, even some of my co-workers, who get me through the workdays even if it is just because they acknowledge the freakin' insanity. I am truly blessed by having some of the best homo sapiens on this planet in my life.

- It will be Friday again. Someday.  
 

Rainy Days:

- I'm still in desperate need of a vacation. It's still a little too far away.

- Too many things needing fixin' and not enough money to fix them.

- Splinters

- The smell of cat butt in the morning even though Lee just did the litterbox

- A day of non-stop rain - the kind that slants because of the wind and makes an umbrella pretty much useless - on a Monday.

Sunny Skies

- Sleeping in just a little bit on a Monday to make that first day back to work slighly less like hell personified.

- Pirate Fests and parrot rescues!

- Going to a flea market on a whim with Lee and his daughter and finding the PERFECT Steelers shirt.

- Getting the garden ready for flower-time.

- Another department at work putting on a free breakfast for us because we let them use our suite of offices for an event last week. A very nice rainy Monday gift!

- The Sex and The City movie. I hadn't seen it yet and my friend and I sat and watched it Saturday night. It sucked us in so much that we never actually left to go see the movie we were planning on catching.

- My city. A trip downtown always reminds me just how much I love it in spite of its foils.

Looking Forward To:

- A weekend in the mountains this weekend.

- Vacation on the horizon. 

Because I think tomorrow will be one of those crazy "just don't get to blogging" kind-o-days.

April Showers

- Ok. Rain. I know we need it. But it seems to always come on the weekends when I have things planned that just go better in a rain-free environment. Then, when I'm cooped up like a veal in my office, it is bright and sunny outside.

- My email at work was down all day today. While this sounds like it could actually be a nice break, what it really means is that people get all sorts of irritated that you aren't getting back to them, and there's nothing you can do about it. It adds an extra level of crankiness to Monday, which is already just a cranky kind of day.

- I am having a REALLY hard time adjusting my attitude at work. I just need a break to de-fry my brain and de-stress my body, and the one in sight is still a few weeks out.

May Flowers

- We went and bought plants this weekend, as Easter gifts for my mom and grandmom. Of course, I had to get one for myself too.

- Our family lottery-scratch-off Easter Egg hunt. Always a good time.

- The wonderful food my mom prepared for Easter dinner, which came complete with enough leftovers that Lee and I don't have to think about "what's for dinner" for at least one more night!

- Dying Easter eggs with Lee. It has been forever since I've done this. So fun and messy! I made a Steelers egg.

- Working together with Lee to build a fence for the side of our front yard that always gets overgrown with vines each summer. We've got a long way to go, since we're pretty much doing it from scratch, but it was a surprisingly pleasant way to spend our Easter Sunday morning.

- Yardweasels.

- Playstation golf, even though I seriously suck at it.

Looking Forward To:

- Checking out Privateer weekend at Fell's Point this weekend. Pirates!

- The week's vacation I have coming up in May. I need it SOOOO much! 

Fuzzy Bunnies:
- Buying the first new flip-flops of the season Sunday. Hey, it felt warm enough, even if it didn't last!
- Pub time with the family.
- Finding out I'm gonna get a big old shiny happy tax refund!
- Sunday dinner and hanging out with Lee, his daughter, her boyfriend, and her boyfriend's daughter Gabby. The day was full of good food, time in the yard, and a trip to the park. Fun stuff.
- Watching Gabby play with Vin. It was hilarious, and Vin got more exercise than he has in forever. He slept most of the next day!
- Neighbors who will help with what I call "man-work" in the yard.
- The yard finally being spring-ready. It was a pain in the butt getting there, but well worth the effort!
- Having a 3-day weekend.

Bunny Turds
- Coming back to work.
- Killing Saturday with yardwork and a good portion of my day off Monday with taxes. The end results are worth it, but I'm really craving true lazy vacation!
- The weather getting cold again AFTER I bought the flip-flops.
- My grandmother going shopping this week and not being able to get in the store because it was being held up! I mean, thank God she wasn't IN the store, but it scared the crap out of her anyway.
- Nearly working myself into a true horror movie panic over Lee and the neighbor dude cutting down a tree in the backyard. I do not do the whole ladders and chainsaws thing well!

Looking Forward To:

-Dying Easter eggs with Lee. It's just something we decided we wanted to do, even though we don't have little ones in the house and we both stopped believing in the Easter bunny a few years ago.
- Easter weekend with the family.
- Some time in some faraway future where my job doesn't make me wanna beat my head against my desk repeatedly.
- Something good for dinner tonight, preferably something neither of us have to cook!
- Using the tax refund on that long-awaited hi-def (better knock on wood, because EVERY time we think we've got it covered something breaks and we need to use the money elsewhere ...)
 

- It sucks that I'm working over Spring Break, when we're supposed to have Monday and Tuesday off. Since we are a week from go-live there's no way I could take the holidays. But it doesn't suck that I'll get those holidays back as comp time somewhere down the road. It also doesn't suck that basically no one is here but me and my consultant, and we're grubbing out in jeans and sweatshirts and working without interruption and there isn't a suit and tie or meeting in sight! It also doesn't suck that testing is going amazingly well. We haven't hit any show-stoppers and have been able to fix every glitch we've hit so far.

- It sucks that for what seems like the fourth or fifth year in a row, it was damp and drizzly for Sully's St. Pat's party Saturday night. Part of the tradition is to carry a portion of the party outside to the firepit. It didn't suck that in spite of the uncooperative weather and a shortage of firewood, Lee and Sully made that happen anyway (I hope Sully really did want to bust up the frame of that old couch and didn't just decide to do it after getting a few St. Pat's beverages in his belly!). It also didn't suck to run into a bunch of friends I only see once or twice a year at these gatherings and have them comment on my weight loss - I felt very "ego-boosted" after St. Patsfest!

- It sucks that my heat is on the blink again, and although I think it is probably just the thermostat we just haven't had time to get someone out to take a look. And of course this would happen when I was having some of the girls as overnight guests post St. Pat's party. But it doesn't suck that the weather is warming up and if the trend keeps going, I'll have plenty of time to get the heat fixed because I won't need it for a while. And it also was definitely not sucky to have the girls over for the night and huddle around the space heater chatting away with our coffee the next morning.

- It sucks that more people are doing our "early riser" gym thing and making it a little more crowded. But it does not suck to people-watch in the gym while working out! Today's entertainment was a woman doing hula hooping for her aerobics workout. She was amazing with that thing! I swear, this gal knew how to use her butt as a shelf to keep the hoop from falling. You'd have to see her - it is kind of hard to describe. At times what she was doing was graceful, at other times just plain hilarious.

Things Ahead That Won't Suck
- Lee and I are popping by The Pub after work today for some St. Pat's fun. My mom always makes a big boatload of corned beef and cabbage to feed the patrons on St. Pat's, and Lee loves the stuff. I'm not a corned beef and cabbage kinda gal myself, but I certainly don't mind a little celebrating!

- We're supposed to hit 60 degrees tomorrow - rock on!

- If our testing continues to go as well as it is, we may not have to work this weekend. Lee and I hadn't made any real plans for this weekend thinking that I WOULD have to work, so we should be able to use the time to get outside and start working in the yard. We have lots of winter branches and that kind of stuff that need to be cleared away. Yeah, I know putting this in the "look forward to" column is a little weird, but on warm-but-not-hot spring days when I have nothing else to do, I actually kind of enjoy working in the yard with him.

- Likewise, since my consultant is stuck in town through the weekend and it is supposed to be nice and we may not be buried in work, we're tentatively planning an outing downtown to a restaurant/bar where we can sit outside and drink mojitos. The food is delish there too.

- Two weeks out, we've got a baby shower for Lee's new nephew and a bull and oyster roast for a local Ravens Roost on the same day. By then, we will have been live in the new system for almost a week and I'll either be ready to celebrate or drown my sorrows! And yes, they actually let Steelers fans like me into these things, and I didn't even have to pay double for my ticket : ). A bunch of our friends and my family are going too.

Happy Tuesday, and Happy St. Pat's too. I wore my green for the party on Saturday, but totally forgot today with the exception of my birthstone ring. I may have to go change before we head to the pub!
 
 

I haven't done one of these in a few weeks, so I should have lots of stuff to "thing" about!

That Which Sucketh Mightily
- Having a stuffy, sneezy, headachey feeling. I think it is allergies rather than a cold coming on. This sounds weird, but I can usually tell the difference. Allergies have this weird tickly itch in the eyes and nose that a cold doesn't have, at least for me. And the itch is definitely there!

- I gave up an entire weekend two weekends ago for work, in spite of working pretty much 12 hour days during the week. This go-live is stressing us all to the max and sucking up our lives like dust in a vacuum. And although next week is spring break and I'm usually off, my consultants and I will be working all week in preparation for the "big bang" go-live the following Tuesday.

- Lee and I are both feeling chaotic and disorganized. We've just both got so much going on in our lives at the moment. We look around at the house and the yard and think of all the things we want to do, but there's never the time or the inclination.

- Not being able to read and stay in the loop here at Vox in quite some time. I miss you all! My hope is get a little chunk of time on Friday to read to my heart's content. I'm actually going to try to take it off since I'll be working while everyone else is off the following week. We'll see how it goes.

That Which Rocks Like A Big Dog

- We had an absolutely gorgeous weekend last weekend, weather-wise. And even though the temps have dipped a bit since then, things are still much warmer than they have been. A bit of balminess and sunshine is good for the overstressed soul.

- Lee being an uncle.

- My consultant. He doubles has my work-therapist. And I need one!

- I did manage to finish Wally Lamb's "The Hour I First Believed," which was disturbing reading but well worth it. It took me almost a month to get through it, partly because of my lack of time but also because it is the kind of book you need to put down and walk away from for a while if you don't want it to rip your heart out.

- Next on the reading list is Christopher Moore's "Fool." I've started it and it already has me rolling. I think he may be my favorite writer ever.

- Random moments of breathing and thinking things will ultimately be OK in the past few weeks. Like that unexpected snow day, where Lee made soup and we curled up and watched a movie and just shut out the world for a while. Or this past Friday, when I hung out with friends and laughed and vented and talked until 4 a.m. and didn't regret one moment of the lost sleep because I needed to do just that so badly.

Things I'm Looking Forward To:

- Another work happy hour tomorrow. They seem to increase in frequency as we get further into our go-live activities. That could be because we need them more!

- My friend Sully's annual St. Patrick's day party this weekend. I have so many friends coming that I haven't seen in far too long, and I can't wait!

- Catching up with all of you!

Suck Sandwiches:
- Our crazy go-live time is driving us all insane at work, and we're only a few weeks into the worst of it. Everyone is snappish, frazzled and angry, including me. And I don't like myself when I'm this way.

- All the exercise in the world doesn't do enough to help me cope with this stress level. I had ridiculous insomnia last night, and finally dozed off for a few hours, only to wake up in tears and feeling like I was on the verge of a panic attack.

- I realize it isn't just the stress or the crazy hours that make me feel this way. It is my inability to focus on what DOES matter because of how all-consuming it is. Lee will be talking about his day, or I'll be on the phone with my grandmother, and some "uh oh, gotta do that RIGHT NOW" work thing will pop into my head and I'll start getting all nervous and unable to concentrate. When you can't give your full attention to people you love because your job is sucking away all your energy and time, there's something really wrong. All I wanted to do was make a contribution  and earn a living that would allow me to have a life - not give up all in my life that matters just to do that.

- As if being a stressed psycho isn't enough, the Gym Locker Room Naked Lady now tries to strike up conversations with me. Naked. Ugh.

Anti-Suck

- We're having a short-lived but wonderful spring teaser here. The weather has been warm enough for a light jacket. I even had the windows and gave the house a dose of fresh air on Sunday.

- We stopped at Starbucks after the gym this morning, and they had just run out of coffee so we had to wait. The clerk gave us the coffee and threw in a couple breakfast sandwiches for free! I got egg, spinach and feta, and it was heavenly. That was a much-needed kindness after not getting any sleep, working out and then staring a 12-hour workday in the face. Not that I couldn't have just bought the breakfast sandwiches myself, but since we try to be good we never do. But when someone offers you a freebie, it is a license to diet-cheat!

- Our conversion over the weekend was a success. Knowing that one of the long line of upcoming major headaches is out of the way does at least make me feel like we accomplished something and the weight on my shoulders is an eensy bit lighter.

- Had a great night out with two girlfriends Saturday night - one of our consultants who was stuck in town for the weekend and a long-time friend. It was nice to just relax and blow off some steam and laugh till it hurt.

- The long-time girlfriend who was part of the Saturday night outing made this awesome veggie dish and brought it over with her. It fed me for two days, and Lee for one. He can only do a veggie meal occasionally, and then he starts craving meat.

Looking Forward To:

- Valentine's Day. I am not a big celebrator of the holiday. The commercialization of the whole thing kinda makes me want to yak. But Lee is off, and I'm working like a fiend so that I don't have any work to do this weekend, and we can just enjoy being together and appreciating each other and letting chores and work and the rest of the world just go away for a day .

Football Being Over:

- Yeah, football being over. I always get a little bummed when the season ends. Especially since February is kinda lame anyway. On the bright side, I should get a lot more done with my Sundays for a while now!

- Going to work on less than 4 hours of sleep yesterday because I was way too wired to just go to bed after the game ended.

- Our "big snowstorm" that was on deck for today turning into nothing more than a few flurries, at least in our area. I really miss good old fashioned snowstorms, and feel sorry for kids in my part of the world because they just don't get to experience the types of storms I remember from my childhood very often. On the bright side again, though, at least it didn't turn into another ice fest.

- Work. Um ... yeah.

A Steelers Superbowl Victory:

- That says it all! And man, what a game. They had my heart in my throat there at the end. I squealed myself out of a voice at that last touchdown. Good thing I didn't have any presentations on deck for Monday!

- Starbucks coffee in the morning after the gym.

- The steamed shrimp and crab balls we had at the pub for Superbowl food. Man, were they yummy. There were raw oysters too, but I didn't get near them. All I can think of when I look at them is boogers.

- I have the cutest most wonderful boyfriend ever. He TRIED to be happy for me about the Steelers winning. He was almost successful : ).

- The cutest most wonderful boyfriend got me one of those "snuggy" things you see on TV. It is so comfy and warm for lounging around and reading at night.

- The book I just started - The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb. It is brutal, tough reading sometimes, as a friend forewarned me. But incredibly hard to put down.

- My family. I'm just feeling extra appreciative of them these days. Especially Mom, who is still on a Steelers high too.

Looking Forward Too:

- Carving out some serious reading time sometime this weekend.

- Going home today and curling up in my snuggy.

- Watching the snow fall today. Even though it is nothing like what was predicted, it IS still pretty.

Big Ben Getting Sacked:

- Lee having to work Saturdays again. It isn't nearly as bad as it was at his old job when he was bored to tears, because he actually doesn't mind being at the new job so much. But only having one day off a week to do everything you wanna do stinks.

- Feeling a little sad for my Ravens peeps.

- Going to the gym at 5:30 a.m. to get our workout in before we head off to our respective jobs. The after-work crowds are just too much. I'm surprised I haven't run myself over on a treadmill or something yet, because I am SO clumsy and out of it in the morning!

- That's about it on my "suck sheet." Things are actually good around here these days.

Troy Palomalu flying away with that interception and taking the game:

- Today, in general. I am filled with hope and fully expect to be an emotional ball of happy weepiness throughout the inauguration.

- Working at home so I can watch all the coverage.

- The Steelers are going to the Superbowl!!!!!

- Actually getting tons of work done, because I'm not in meetings all day. Even with the distraction of the inauguration (and Vox, and Facebook), I get tons more accomplished. I work longer and with more focus and just all around feel more on top of my game. And I get to see Vin and Sly whenever I want!

- The house is clean and the laundry is done because I was off yesterday ... I love going into a workweek feeling organized instead of like I need another day off.

- The spaghetti sauce in the making for dinner tonight

- The dusting of snow we got yesterday. I love me some snow!

- Knowing that the workout regimen is done for the day at 7 a.m. - sure, the getting up early part goes on the "suck sheet" but knowing that after work we can come home and veg without guilt is awesome.

- Knowing we'll be getting 2 paychecks again this week PLUS the payout Lee's old company owes him for unused vacation. Welcome back, savings account!

- One of my high school teachers joining Facebook. She was my creative writing teacher, the one who encouraged me to apply for scholarships and go to college and to write my butt off. I kept in touch with her for a bit after high school, but lost touch because as often happens I got too wrapped up in other stuff. She's awesome, and I feel like I owe her so much. I went to a school where not too many people really thought about college - a lot of my high school friends went right into working or got married and had children very young and didn't really give it more thought. Without her influence, I may never have believed in myself enough to go there. So the chance to reconnect with her is awesome.

 Looking Forward To:

- Only actually going in to work 3 days this week before another weekend rolls around.

- Um ... Superbowl, of course!!!

Burnt bitter decaf that has been stewing in the coffee pot for hours (in a styrofoam cup, and the creamer is curdled)

- Getting to work before daylight really hits, and having it be dark again already when I leave. It makes me feel like a hibernating animal, only without the snuggle-up-and-stay-lazy-and-warm benefits of hibernation.

- The New Year's resolution crowds at the gym. Sometimes, it is hard to even get a locker, let alone the equipment I want to use! We slacked off while Lee was sick (I totally used it as an excuse to avoid the crowds I KNEW would be there). All those people make it really hard to get back into the workout routine. Plus, since I'm not a crowd person, the hub-bub totally nixes the mental stress-relief benefits of the gym for me. I'm ready for February when everyone starts slacking on their resolutions! We're actually thinking about starting to go to the gym at 5:30 a.m. instead of AFTER work, to see if it is any better.

- Kinda feeling "homesick." That sounds weird, or dumb even. But during my workweek with the gym thrown in after, I feel like I use my house as a place to wash up and crash and other than that I just don't see it. My poor little house becomes a hotel without room service. I actually MISS being home. And I miss my critters. I think the break just got me too used to having lots of time to enjoy my little place in the world.

- Lee's weeklong bug.

- Major van repairs causing our emergency savings to go "poof."

- My work pants almost all now being so big that I need to go shopping again, and I hate shopping. These are the ones I bought when I "downsized" back in October! On the one hand, that's really good. On the other hand, ummm ... I hate shopping. But I'm wearing long sweaters to work every day now to hide the fact that in my pants, my butt now looks like it is going swimming. I'm gonna have to break down and go pants shopping ... ugh. Luckily, this is NOT the case with all my jeans yet, because the only thing worse than work-pants shopping is jeans shopping!

Fresh-brewed high test java with white chocolate raspberry creamer (in the perfect wrap-your-hands-around-it-and-get-them-toasty-warm mug):

- Lee's new job. He likes it because it keeps him busy and the days go fast. Most of the time he's outside, which would NOT be a plus for me this time of year, but he likes that much better than being cooped indoors. I really hope this can become permanent!

- That the tiny local towing/repair place that fixed the van turned it around in 24 hours, AND charged us less than the original estimate. I love small family businesses.

- The Steelers whooping Charger butt and moving on to the divisional championship playoff!

- Being a Steelers fan in Baltimore when the divisional playoff is the Steelers versus the Ravens. You would think that would suck, but the contrary side of my nature finds it to be lots and lots of fun! At home, at work, at the pub ... everywhere I go I am defending my black and gold : ). There are a few other Steelers fan on the project at work too, so at least there I'm not alone!

- My pants now being so big that I have to go shopping again. The shopping part sucks. But this one goes in both categories because the fact that I'm in this situation in spite of holiday eating and sporadic gym visits during the holidays and then while Lee was sick and I was readjusting to work is a relief.

- Realizing we overlooked the fact that Lee's severance from the old job will include payout for a week of unused vacation. Extra money to compensate for blowing the last of our funds on the van is coolness.

- Continued catch-up with old friends on Facebook. It is so much fun seeing where high school friends I haven't spoken to in YEARS ended up, and chit-chatting about all the events and goings-on that have shaped us all since.

- Lee's chicken chili - yum!

Looking Forward To:

- Having Monday off for Martin Luther King Day (the timing is PERFECT, since I DO NOT want to go to work after Sunday night's playoff no matter what the outcome!)

- The Ravens/Steelers Divisional Championship playoff game

- Co-worker Happy Hour at the pub tomorrow

- Starting my new book (Stones From The River)