Thankful Thursday ...

And it couldn't come at a better time, because I really do need to pause and realize I have lot to be thankful about.

This post will probably start more as a vent than a moment of thankfulness, but hear me out ...

It has been the week from hell. Everyone at work is frenzied. We're paying double for our week of rest. We're so close to go-live for so many things on the project. There's a sense of urgency and worry in the air. It seems like EVERYONE is stressing and not sleeping well and feeling overwhelmed. Not just me.

Add to that Lee still not feeling well and us both being stressed about the financial troubles and his work (or lack thereof) situation, and we've been kind of a mess. Wednesday was the first day he started feeling better. When I called him at lunchtime and he actually sounded energized instead of miserable, I was so happy. It felt like a weight had come off my shoulders. That's what love does, I guess. You can't stand to see your loved ones feeling bad.

The day got even better when he got a call about a resume he'd posted up on a job search site months ago. It was a temp-to-hire position, in work he's got lots of experience in, and they needed someone right away. He interviewed that afternoon and they told him he could start today. He was feeling so well he jumped at it.

They told him he needed a certain kind of work boot for the job. He had work boots for his old one, but not quite what was needed. He called me all excited and happy. He felt good, our money worries - which have mainly been making sure we can afford his medication and have SOMETHING - ANYTHING - put away for emergencies, have been wearing on us both. We've smiled through it, but we've both been scared little kids inside. And it is hard to keep each other "bucked up and going strong" when you both want to crawl in a hole and have someone tell you everything will be okay.

So we were both excited. I was working late, and the plan was for him to go get his boots, then pick me up. I got another call shortly thereafter. He had gone to the store, gotten his boots, and gone back out to the van. The damn thing wouldn't start.

For two people who are financially up a creek without a rowboat, Lee's job prospect was a blessing. The fear of him not being able to GET to that job was overwhelming. It isn't located somewhere that a cab or bus would be a viable option. A cab, maybe ... but you don't want to chance showing up late on your first day, and they arent' exactly reliable around here. Then, of course, there was the fact that he was stranded at the store, I was stranded at work (pretty much everyone else had already gone home), I was on day 3 of 12-hour-workdays, he was still not totally well, and on and on. We were both ready to lose our minds.

I took a few deep breaths, hung up with him, and called my father. Dad went and picked Lee up at the store, then took him back to the house to give him the keys to his old pickup that he uses for hauling stuff for the pub and loading firewood for the mountains. He also gave us the number of a tow-and-repair guy he uses all the time, who would be as reasonable as possible with us as far as money goes with the mention of Dad's name. Being a pub-owner who is as friendly and sociable as Dad does have its perks : ).

Lee picked me up. The guy went and got the van today and looked at it. It is going to eat the last bit of savings we had left.  

Stress. Stress. Stress.

So, how in the heck is this a "thankful" post?

Well, I'm thankful that we got the call about the job BEFORE the van took a crap. I mean, it would have done it anyway. If it had happened before the job call, spending that last bit of emergency money might have sent us both over the "curl up in a ball and cry" edge.

I'm thankful that Lee's first day went well, and he thinks he'll like the work. It sucks that he felt like he had to jump at it, when he really needed another day or two to recover from this bug. He's run-down, and jumping into a new physical job when you aren't well isn't the best way to a speedy recovery. But the job search experience has been so ... interesting (another post for another time!), that he was anxious to take something that seemed good, and afraid not to start right away because they'd specifically said they needed someone urgently. But he likes it, and he felt good being busy all day, and knowing there will be that paycheck coming does give us a needed sigh of relief. And I am so thankful for that.

I am thankful for little moments at work where we breathe and somehow manage to let all the stress roll off our shoulders. Today, that came when we were all gathered in the hallway after a meeting, and a co-worker was talking about wanting a new phone. Our project manager, who usually comes across as SUCH a serious, nose-to-the-grindstone kind of guy, whipped out his phone and started showing us the app he downloaded that let him choose from all sorts of fart noises. His kid wanted it, and he got it for himself too. It didn't convince the phone shopper to go with HIS brand, but we all stood there in the hallway saying "do the splatter one!" or "hit the hangover one again!" and listening to his phone make fart noises and laughed until half of us had tears in our eyes.

Sometimes, you have to revert to five-year-old-humor to survive the day. And when you do, it feels sooooo good. So I'm thankful for that.

And most of all, I'm thankful for my family and for the fact that I live so close to them and that Dad was there when I called, and he's always so calming, and he jumped right up and went and got Lee and gave us the use of the truck until we can get the van situated and helped us find someone who wouldn't bleed us dry to fix it. I'm thankful, thankful, thankful that I have the family I do.

I'm thankful that I'm able to admit that sometimes, life is just overwhelming, and you have to call Mom and Dad and not only get a helping hand, but hear a voice that has been soothing you since your biggest woe in the world was a skinned knee.